Handfasting and Marriage Ceremony

Handfasting and Marriage Ceremony*
(all pictures are "clickable")

(Click here to download ceremony in Word 6 or click here to see it below.)

Meaning of Handfasting. Traditionally, the handfasting ceremony was a promise to marry, like an engagement. It was not (and is not today) recognized as an official marriage ceremony. After the handfasting, couples would live together for a year and a day as husband and wife. After which, if they were still happy together, they would agree to be married. Here's a fun neo-Pagan site that describes some of the other meanings and history behind this ritual. http://www.handfasting.info

Our Ceremony. We wanted to incorporate both the handfasting and marriage ceremony (exchanging of rings) for our special day. I modified the original version to suit our needs. I encourage you to do the same, adding or deleting what you like.

Give a copy of the ceremony to your wedding party and go over it at the rehearsal before the wedding (you can mime the items if you don't want to bring them to the rehearsal). Give a copy to your clergy person to read during the wedding. Don't expect him or her to memorize it. Additionally, you can give a copy to your guests if you want them to follow along. Another option is to have your guests read along to a special prayer or repeat after the clergy (the second paragraph below lends itself to that).

Have a small table next to the clergy to place items on. Cover with a pretty cloth in your wedding colors or decorate with silk vines. It's a good idea to keep the wine, the chalices and the broom on the table so your attendants don't have to carry them down the aisle. Then he or she can get them easily when the time comes. Everything else can be carried. Flower girls can put their items in their baskets.

Keyword "FUN". This ceremony is very hands-on for your wedding party and may not be suited to your family if they don't want to participate. We had lots of attendants, ushers and flower girls. No matter what your party looks like, there's plenty to work with here. If you have a small party, you can double or triple up on items. It's also nice if there's a lot of children. Keeps them busy and they feel important. Certainly you can change around "the players" to suit your needs.

Lady Diane sharing a laugh with maidens Meaghan and Jessica.

Another idea we added was to hand out hornblowers and noisemakers so the guests can yell "Huzzah!" during the service and make a lot of noise. I'm not sure this would work if you have 100 people (we had about 50), but maybe it would! Anyway, we created gift bags with little goodies for the guests to pick up when they entered the area. One of which was a hornblower or noisemaker. You can put a program or your special prayer in the gift bags as well for the guests to read out loud, or follow along. (Read here for more info on our gift bags).

Items We Purchased. Most of the items below can be found anywhere. A friend of mine, a florist, was kind enough to supply us with beautiful silk ribbons for the fasting of hands. Each roll retailed at about $25. You certainly don't have to buy an entire roll. We used about 3 feet of each color. Our ribbons were 2" wide. After the ribbon is cut, you'll have a frayed edge. If you don't like that, you can tie some small, dried roses (real or silk) to the end with some floral wire. A nice touch.

I must make a special note about our handfasting chalice, pictured here, the "Rose" style. We purchased it online at the Plaide Palette of Celtic Art (http://www.celticart.com/wedding-glass.html). Go to their main site page (http://www.celticart.com) and check out all their wonderful Celtic items. Lots of fantastic wedding supplies for a ren wedding. Even if you don't purchase anything, you must check out the cake toppers. They can make toppers that look like you! Some are dressed in renaissance, medieval or Scottish clothing, as well as a wide variety of ideas that will fit any taste and style. Personally, I went without the topper because I was trying to cut costs and the chalice was more meaningful to me. However, everything they offer at the Plaide Palette is high quality and delivered in great condition.

A Word About "Jumping the Broom". I couldn't locate any evidence that this was ever done during the time of any renaissance period. In actuality, its origins begin in ancient Africa when couples would jump sticks to signify entering their new life together. There is a myth that this ritual began with black American slaves because they were not allowed to marry and used this ritual privately to signify their union. In reality, they were simply continuing a time honored tradition. Please visit these sites for more history on this beautiful ritual. (To the right, Mike and I make a successful jump. Greg is standing in forefront.)

I assume modern paganism picked up the ritual to use in handfasting ceremonies because the broom is significant in Wicca to sweep away negative energy. Personally, I looked upon it as a symbol of home and hearth, and jumping into a new life together.

Other Notes: If you have the room, it's nice to have the wedding party organize in a circle instead of ushers on one side and attendants on the other. We didn't for lack of space. Also, do teach your flower girls how to curtsey. It's a nice touch and becoming a lost art.

The ceremony as we did it, takes about 45 minutes. Add another 15 minutes for what we left out.

Things You'll Need	From Our Wedding Party
Lightbulb and cloth to wrap it (for glass breaking)	Father of Groom (Note: Don't use a regular glass. He'll be stomping all day or otherwise slip and kill himself or you. Cover the lightbulb with a cloth before he stomps so he doesn't spray your wedding party with pieces of glass. Would probably make them cranky.)
Gold coin (chocolate coin or Susan B. Anthony)	Best Man
Wine Chalice and Ewer	Maid of Honor
Wine	Place on table next to clergy. Whomever gets the chalice, pours the wine.
Red rose	Flower girl or attendant
White cloth or hanky	Flower girl or attendant
Yellow Ribbon	Flower girl or attendant
Red Ribbon	Flower girl or attendant
Blue Ribbon	Flower girl or attendant
Green Ribbon	Flower girl or attendant
Broom	Flower girl or attendant
Rings	Ringbearer
Water chalice with water	<we didn't use>
Uncooked Egg	<we didn't use>
Pillow for kneeling	<we didn't use>
	Mothers to bear witness
Hornblowers/Noisemakers	Guests (purchased at a local party store)
Bubbles	Guests blow at end (purchased at Michael's (http://www.michaels.com))

Handfasting Ceremony
(Original material that I did NOT use is in red. I put it back here for your information.)

Clergy: Good me Lords and Good me Ladies. All you do stand in attendance for the ceremony of Handfasting to take place this day at this very time. I, <His Lordship, Clergy's Name>, will honor this goodly Couple.

Note: Other clergy titles you can use "His Lordship, His Eminence, His Reverence, His Excellency, His Holiness, His Grace, His Magistrate, Good Reverend, Priestess".

Our most Holy Spirit and God of Hosts, we would ask Your favor this day, and Your many blessings for these goodly gentles here assembled. We would ask You to be our sword and shield, protect us from the avarice's of hate, fear and ignorance and bring forth the joys of love, peace and understanding to this place of Handfasting. Amen. You may be seated.

Clergy: Lord <Groom's Name> and Lady <Bride's Name>, we are hereby assembled to bear witness to all the known world of your intention to one day marry [when all family concerns, dowries, and tithes now in question be resolved. And thus for one year you may live in common and any issue of your loins brought forth shall be recognized as legitimate afore God and Royal Statute. Whether this Handfasting was arranged by your parents or you found each other by your own means, the laws of State and Church hold true and are binding.] As you have found each other by your own means, this Handfasting will hold true and are binding by the laws of State and God.

Note: The clergy may refer to you as "Master" and "Mistress" instead of "Lord" and "Lady."

Clergy to Bride: Gentle Maid, wouldst thou examine his limbs full well to prove that in truth his health is sufficient for thy needs.

Clergy: She hath found him sound! HUZZAH! (guests repeat Huzzah and blow horns). Gentle Lord, wouldst thou examine her limbs full well to prove that in truth her health is sufficient for thy needs.

Clergy: He hath found her sound! HUZZAH! (guests repeat and blow horns). Thus me Lords and Ladies, these gentles both being of sound mind and sound body and with the spoken agreement of their family, shall now be bound in the ceremony of Handfasting. Who be the companion of honor to bear witness this man hath no wife?

[If this person is seated, they may speak from the chair. Otherwise, they should step forward and address the clergy.]

Clergy: Who be the companion of honor to bear witness this woman hath no husband?

Note: Traditionally, a dowry would be given, usually from the bride's family to the groom. As such, the bride is spoken for by her family and this question would not be asked to her family. If a dowry is given, the "companion of honor to bear witness" is only asked of the groom.

Clergy: Dost thou have a gratuity to pay the State that stands in agreement?

Best Man: [Hands the coin to Clergy. Clergy bites it to acknowledge its worth.]

Maid of Honor: [Maid of Honor comes forth with the Handfasting chalice and wine ewer. The chalice is given to the groom and both he and the bride hold it. The wine is poured into the cup.]

Clergy: Good me Lords and good me Ladies, the red wine doth symbolize the desire of these gentle folk to provide for each other food, drink and a livelihood upon their own good grace and hard labor, to strive to give each other the comforts of home and hearth.

Clergy to Groom: Good me Lord, do offer the cup unto thy Lady [she drinks]. HUZZAH! (guests repeat and blow horns).

Clergy to Bride: Good me Lady, do offer the cup unto thy Lord [he drinks]. HUZZAH! (guests repeat and blow horns).

Clergy to both: Good me Lord and Lady, from this day forth thou shalt sup in common. Thou shalt share thy livelihood in common.

Clergy to Groom: Good me Lord, do kiss the rose and over it to your lady, this symbol of affection most dear, and may you love one another. For though this rose shall live but only a day, your love shall live forever. Love is the only thing felt by man that is eternal. HUZZAH! (guests repeat and blow horns).

Attendant: [Hands the egg to the clergy. The clergy, in turn, hands the egg to the bride and says.] Good me Lady, the egg is the symbol of great fertility and from this union may fertility reign and so prosper your families. Thou mayest crack this symbol of fertility upon the heel or the head of your Lord: the heel for humble obedience unto your Lord's desire or the head for mutual knowledge of the marriage union. [The bride kisses the egg, makes her choice and cracks it].

Clergy: At this time goodly gentles, I now ask that the gentle Lady put her left hand out with the palm down. Now, me Lord, do place your right hand over her hand and cover it.

Flower Girl 2: [Hands Clergy a white cloth who places it over the hands.] In this symbolic covering of hand upon hand, may all here bear witness to the protection that shall be offered by this gentleman unto his chosen gentle Lady.

Clergy: Bring forth the Yellow ribbon! All present, pray repeat "The Yellow Ribbon."

Attendant 1: [Holds up the Yellow ribbon as everyone shouts. She then stands in front of the couple with the ribbon.]

Clergy: The Yellow ribbon is symbolic of the everlasting rememberances of this day and their life together.

Attendant 1: [Wraps the ribbon around the couples’ hands, makes a comment if they want, curtsies and steps down.]

Clergy: Bring forth the Red ribbon! All present, pray repeat "The Red Ribbon."

Attendant 2: [Holds up the Red ribbon as everyone shouts. She then stands in front of the couple with the ribbon.]

Clergy: The Red ribbon is symbolic of the everlasting passion that can be theirs to share.

Attendant 2: [Wraps the ribbon around the couples’ hands, makes a comment if they want, curtsies and steps down.]

Clergy: Bring forth the Green ribbon! All present, pray repeat "The Green Ribbon."

Attendant 3: [Holds up the Green ribbon as everyone shouts. She then stands in front of the couple with the ribbon.]

Clergy: The Green ribbon is for virility. Do you now prepare your bodies and minds to do honor to your union and commitment, and thus as God do implore to go forth and multiply and be fruitful.

Attendant 3: [Wraps the ribbon around the couples’ hands, makes a comment if they want, curtsies and steps down.]

Clergy: Bring forth the Blue ribbon! All present, pray repeat "The Blue Ribbon."

Attendant 4: [Holds up the Blue ribbon as everyone shouts. She then stands in front of the couple with the ribbon.]

Clergy: The Blue ribbon is for everlasting fidelity that you may offer each other and the bonding of your truest hopes and cares.

Attendant 4: [Wraps the ribbon around the couples’ hands, makes a comment if they want, curtsies and steps down.]

Attendant 5: <Brings forth the broom and lays it down crosswise in front of the couple and steps down.>

Clergy: This broom doth symbolize your desire to live together as one, to share your love and your life in common. If this be your true and longed for desire: thence jump over the broom.

Note: If they jump, continue on. If they don't, clergy should urge them until they do. If they still don't jump, clergy decrees that they've wasted everyone's time and has them beheaded.

Attendant: [Places pillow in front of the clergy, between he and the couple. The couple steps forward and kneels on the pillow.]

Clergy: Goodly gentles, do ye now kneel down upon the good earth that give thee life. In the name of God, the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, by all that is reverenced and dear, and as your lawful sovereign and the Holy Church for good and all agreed: I do handfast thee and thou for a period of one year and do bless this bonding. In one year's time, do ye return to mother church and have this union blessed within the hallowed walls of the Cathedral before an anointed Priest or the Lord Bishop. In nomine Patris, et filii, et Espiritu Santo. Amen! [Latin interpretation "In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit"]

Attendant: [Pours water into chalice and stands to the right of the couple.]

Clergy: Children of the earth, raise thee up. The art now bonded in handfasting. Take this water with thy hand and bless each other with it upon your foreheads and your hearts, to seal your bonding by the life giving and cleansing waters. Depart in Peace.

Note: I really liked the water blessing, but it was just too long, so we continued by saying...

Clergy: Goodly gentles, in the name of God, by all that is reverenced and dear, and as your lawful Lord for good and all agreed: I do hand fast thee and thou. HUZZAH!

Note: The handfasting ends here. Continue on to the Pip, Pip, Huzzah! for the couple, or continue with the rites of marriage.

Clergy: These rings in their unbroken wholeness are tokens of the continuity of thy love. May their shining substance be a symbol of the enduring trust and affection thou dost bring to one another.

Groom places ring on bride's finger and says: With this ring, I join my life with thee.

Bride places ring on groom’s finger and says: With this ring, I join my life with thee.

Father of Groom: <Father of Groom holds up glass and places it in front of Groom’s foot and then returns to his place.>

Clergy: Lord <Groom's Name> and Lady <Bride's Name>, we break the glass today as a symbol that thy love for one another will remain until the pieces of this glass come together again. Verily, we are reminded that the barriers we erect between ourselves must be broken down and rebuilt in the spirit of respect, unity and peace. As this glass is put asunder, so may your marriage n’er be broken.

May the Lord bless you and keep you in peace this day and all your days. Thou art now bonded in Handfasting and Marriage!

Clergy: Make ye way! Make ye way for Lord <Groom's First Name> and Lady <Bride's Last Name> <Your Surname>. Such as "Lord Mickey and Lady Minnie Mouse."

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